Living On the Dog
Track: Learning the Art of Getting Well
by David Spero, art-of-getting-well.com
Overcoming chronic illness often
requires us to slow down and save some energy for healing. In
this society, most of us are moving way beyond our healthy
speed, as illustrated in this story from Cajun psychologist
Wayne Sotile.
Mrs. Boudreau hears an emergency
announcement on the radio. There's a crazy man driving the
wrong way on the freeway. She immediately calls her husband's
car phone. "Boudreau," she says, "if you're on
the freeway, you got to get off. The radio says there's a
crazy man driving the wrong way." "Call 'em
back," yells Boudreau. "Tell 'em there ain't just
one. There's hundreds of 'em!"
Mr. Boudreau was only a little bit over
the line. For many of us, modern life feels like a dog track,
where we live like greyhounds chasing mechanical rabbits,
(such as money, happiness, or doing good), while
simultaneously being stuck with cattle prods, (like fear of
poverty, or low self-esteem,) from behind. The race runs
through our waking hours and often invades sleep. We fear the
ever-rising tide of responsibilities will overwhelm us if we
slack off, even momentarily, or that we will miss some vital
opportunity. Meanwhile, the pain builds in our organs and
muscles, the healing systems start to wear down, and the next
thing you know, the doctor is recommending a triple bypass.
When we get sick, it's better to take
the opportunity to stop and listen to our bodies. It won't be
easy, but we need to put our bodies first for a while. We may
have to figure ways to cut expenses; we may have to ask for
help; we may have to change our view of ourselves, from worker
bee to something more balanced. If we judge ourselves by how
much we get done, slowing down can be hard on our self-esteem.
Sometimes, though, our bodies need some rest, and other people
are usually okay with that. We need to learn that we can be
valued and loved for who we are, not just what we do.
Setting priorities
It's not always other people's needs and
wants that make us crazy. Just as often, our own desires for
material possessions, recognition, power, or personal growth
cause us to overwork and drive our bodies like beasts of
burden. We don't just burn our candles at both ends; we
vaporize them with a blowtorch!
We have to learn to set priorities. Some
things are really crucial, more important than health, even,
but a lot of things we treat as necessities are really
optional, and we can conserve energy for ourselves by letting
them go. Is Better Homes and Gardens coming over for a photo
shoot today? Is royalty coming to visit? If not, maybe
cleaning behind the refrigerator can wait. Do we have to go to
the next town to buy from a particular hardware store or
bakery? Do we need to go to that meeting we know will be a
waste of time? Do we really need another car or a bigger home?
The answer is usually "No." If
we do cut back, we often find that seemingly uncontrollable
health problems can become stepping stones to more
comfortable, better lives. If we refuse to give in, and insist
on keeping up an unlivable pace, we can't complain if our
illness hits us again, harder.
Recommended
Books:
Celebrate
Life : New Attitudes for Living With Chronic Illness by
Kathleen Lewis
Chronic
Illness and the Twelve Steps : A Practical Approach to
Spiritual Resilience by Martha Cleveland
Travels
With the Wolf : A Story of Chronic Illness by Melissa Anne
Goldstein
David Spero: He has been a nurse for
28 years and has lived with multiple sclerosis for 13 years.
He helps people overcome their barriers to self-care, and
leads Chronic Disease Self-Management groups for Kaiser
Permanente in Northern California. Visit the author's web site
at http://www.art-of-getting-well.com.
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